Freak Out Fridays - THIS STUPID PINEAPPLE!!!

I am being taken over by THIS STUPID PINEAPPLE blog fest hosted by Briane Pagel at Thinking the Lions!  How, exactly, does one get the infectiousness of this stupid pineapple out of one's brain?  I've dreamt about it, ate over it, screamed and cried regarding this stupid pineapple.  It is all consuming, but at the same time; I like it!  It tastes so sweet and delicious in my mind; it has become a bit like sweet laudanum and I do not want to let it go.

Today is the day I must exorcise my demon and put this stupid pineapple post out for the world to see; and yet, all I can do is sit in my comfy home and wish I didn't have to let it go.  I want to continue savoring this plump, juicy goodness...forever! ;)

So here is my heart and soul, put into words - let all who read this know; I love this stupid pineapple!

This stupid pineapple was given to me
In a manner that made me think of trees.
I think about it all the time
I don't think I can become a mime.
I love its succulent flavor
and yet it does me no favors.
I weep to think that it will go
for where it will end up, I cannot begin to know.
I pray for the time when this stupid pineapple will come back.
I want so much to remove it, like a tack.
And yet, it is all consumingly sad
to think that the world will think me mad.
I suck this stupid pineapple into my soul
never caring that I'm losing control.
Please help me get this out of my brain
or else I might go insane!

So my Friday Freakout is this: I'm participating in a blog fest and I don't know if I should put this much pressure on myself because I am a strange bird that obsesses over EVERYTHING!  Shit, I feel so much better.  Getting this out there, well, it did help. 

Thanks for reading!

Freak Out Fridays - Whatever Happened to Caring for One's Fellow Man?

I was reared by my Depression Era-surviving, WWII-fighting, grandparents.  They believed strongly in FDR and "the New Deal", and the world they lived in was one where the "have's" were obligated by our government to help out the "have-not's".  If they were alive today (and still cognitively able to understand our current political climate) they would be utterly disgusted by what is being spewed by some of the GOP.  I say "some" only because I like to believe that the entire Republican party isn't completely off their rocker.

With what I have been seeing lately, reading everywhere, and hearing the GOP candidates say; it got me thinking.  Thinking about a situation that came up during my life, that essentially showed the kind of people our nation's "Greatest Generation" were.  I'd like to share this with you.

When I was 16 years old I went away on a mission trip to Tamalipas, Mexico.  At that time, it was a tiny village with no running water; the "richest" person had the old fashioned washer that you cranked the clothes through.  We were told we would be building a church/community center/shelter/all purpose building with a concrete slab foundation, and running water.  The villagers were so happy to see us, they desperately needed this gift and were more than happy to sing our songs and play soccer with us; to get it.

The town had a real issue going on, a dirty little secret.  Men would drink, and in their drunken state; break into their neighbors homes and rape their teenage daughters.  Sometimes, the poor girls got pregnant.  Being predominately Catholic, there were never going to be any abortions; so the girls had the babies "secretly" and as soon as possible; turned the kids out of the home.  The mothers would then deny their existence.  So when we got there, we found ourselves compelled to deal with the eight children that were currently living in this situation.  No food, only scraps from various trash cans; clothes only when Missionaries showed up and no roof over their heads, ever.

One of these sweet children was named Aurora.  I fell in love with her instantly.  She was so starved for love, and I think she knew that I was too.  We clicked and within days, she was calling me Mama.  I called home to talk to my grandma. 

This is where I'll take a break and preface the rest of the story with this: my grandparents were no saints, I did not have a very happy childhood; but they believed in taking care of people - even if their own background made them a little mentally fucked up.

When I explained the situation to Nana, her only response was; "What can I do to help?"  So I handed the phone to our lead contact on the Mexico side and he walked her through what she needed to do, who she needed to talk to, and who she needed to bribe; for me to be able to bring Aurora home and have her legally be ours.

She didn't hesitate, she didn't say "I'll have to think about it." There was no asking, "What will this cost us?" or "What's in it for me?"  She just knew that I was telling her that this little girl needed a home, and she was willing to find a way to make it happen; because you take care of those less fortunate.  Always.  No matter what.

We were not well-to-do, we struggled and my grandma worked hard to provide for me.  I shopped at thrift stores and never knew what it was like to own a new pair of shoes until a youth pastor bought me my first pair when I was 13 years old; but she was willing to take in another mouth to feed because that mouth needed a home and that is what you do.

We ended up not getting Aurora, it broke my heart when the border crossing guards wanted more money and we didn't have it to give.  They ripped that beautiful little girl from my arms, she and I were both screaming, and she disappeared shortly after.  I don't know what happened to her, it breaks my heart to this day; but we tried. 

I guess my Freak Out is this...when did American's stop trying to help one another?  When did it become "okay" to just look out for numero uno?  Why is it that helping our fellows is looked down upon?  When did "liberal" become a dirty word?

Okay, I'm done with my rant.

Freak Out Fridays - Girl Scout Cookie Season is Here!

Well, as many of you know, I am a Girl Scout Leader.  I take my job very seriously.  In addition to planning educational meetings and fun activities, as well as community service projects; I am ultimately responsible for encouraging my eight girls to set goals and become "entrepreneurs" during cookie season.  Archer Girl (my daughter) is the most driven out of all the girls and last year was our troops number one seller; so of course, this year she has decided she must top herself.  Ho Hum.  What that means is that I will have to put in a lot of hours with her; because at only ten years old, she cannot achieve her dream without a little help.

I know that a lot of people think that Girl Scout cookies are an organization's way of profiting off of "child labor", at least that is what I've been told before.  However, my girls LOVE selling cookies!  They LOVE earning profits that they use to do good things within their community, and I am especially proud of them for this.  This year, Archer Girl and her sister Girl Scouts are using their cookie profits to purchase bus passes for homeless students here in the Long Beach area.  This is vital aid that these children in crisis often need, but there is currently underfunding in this area.  We hope to close the gap and help the Bethune Transitional Center for Homeless Students provide these children with a means to stay at their "home school" after their families have had to relocate to shelters or other relatives homes.

There is a fantastic video on YouTube that really shows "What Can A Cookie Do?", but for some reason the embedding has been disabled.  If you have a moment, I'd encourage you to check it out here and another great example of what this program does is here. 

So, what is the Freak Out?  I haven't finished my novel, which I swore to myself I would do before cookie season.  I know that starting today through March 25th (when the cookie sale is over) I will be eating, drinking, breathing, sleeping...generally being consumed...by GIRL SCOUT COOKIES!  Archer Girl has a goal set of 1500 boxes of cookies (last year's goal was 1000 and she actually sold over 1400), and that is a lot of work.  I laugh because if I didn't I would cry! ;)

Wish me luck, dear readers and friends; and if you happen to have a hankering for Thin Mints, Samoas, Tagalongs, or any of the other deliciously addicting cookies we sell - well, you know where to find me! ;)

Freak Out Fridays - Resolved?

Well, as many of you saw; my freak out really started this past Tuesday with my IWSG post.  The day ended with a trip to Target, all three kids in tow, and a list of needed items that was too long to bear.  I got about 3/4 of the way through before the incessant wailing of Lil Demon, the bickering between Archer Girl and Archer Boy, and my own exhaustion got the better of me.  I left my cart where it stood, full of groceries and other sundry items; then picked up the baby, snapped at the older two and strode out of the place with tired and frustrated tears streaming down my face.  Wow!  It's been a long time since I've succumbed to that kind of dramatic outburst, and I was wholly ashamed of myself.

The week hasn't got any better, except it has; and it is because of you.

I received some of the greatest comments from you all, sincere and straightforward, they really helped me start to put things into perspective.  While I've been whirring around like an out of control radio controlled helicopter, I've managed to come to a few conclusions inside my mixed up noggin.

First, my New Year's Resolution was dumb and ill-informed.  Just because someone from NaNo says it, doesn't make it so.  I don't give a rats ass how many "followers" I have, I want readers who become friends - and that's all I want.  I started this blog - originally way back in 2010 - as an online diary for Pete's sake!  I didn't figure I'd ever have anyone reading ANYTHING I wrote, but now I've made some good friends and I love where I'm at with this.

Second, blogging is my "hobby".  I want to be a writer.  I want to write and get paid for it.  I blog to make friends and be connected and I will write the rest of the time.  It is sad that it took me the past four months to finally come to this conclusion, but that's it...I'm going to let it be now.

So, I will continue to post my Freak Out Fridays; but they will be about all the OTHER shit I freak out about in my life - not blogging, nor writing.  I'll save all my insecurities up and continue to post those the first Wednesday of the month for Alex J. Cavanaugh's Insecure Writer's Support Group (check out his latest entry in this mighty fine support group here). 

Come back and visit for Confession Sunday, I'll be discussing a deep seated fear of mine!