I'm posting this on Tuesday, but it goes with my membership into the "Insecure Writer's Support Group" for the first Wednesday of each month...said schedule discussed below will begin NEXT week on Sunday, January 8, 2012.
I'm a bit overwhelmed with my life, but that really isn't something new. I am a drama queen, I know it. I worry and fret over everything and often do not feel normal unless I have something to worry and fret over. Having kids was a great remedy to this ailment, it fulfills my needs oh-so-nicely!
Well, in addition to being a worrywart, I am a "type-A perfectionist freak"; often, perfection is not perfect enough for me. I know this about myself, and I struggle to apply it only to ridiculous expectations of myself; and NOT put my crazy shit on my children. Sometimes I fail, and then I have something else to worry and fret over. Ugh, it really is a never ending cycle.
Last but not least, I come from a dark and brooding place. In that I mean that my life has been full of shit you only read about in books; but it has all happened to me and it affects me in deep and profound ways. Typically, it comes out and rears its ugly head in the manner in which I view people and situations. I see EVERYTHING as twisted, the shit I say and how I read people and situations; well, let's just say my husband is always there to help me out in this department.
Now, having prefaced this post with all of that honesty and other crap ;), I have to tell you - I MAKE BLOGGING SO HARD!
(INSERT VIOLINS PLAYING HERE) I never have time to do anything! I never have time to read anything! I got up at 4:15am PST this morning (1) because the baby isn't sleeping AGAIN and he basically kicked me out of bed with his fitful tossing and turning, and (2) because as I was lying there, NOT sleeping, I thought "Dear God! I have SO many of my favorite blogs to read and I never have time and I have to post something and I think all of my readers hate me cause I'm so behind and blah...blah...blah".
Yes, this is the shit that consumes my brain.
Here is the kicker...
I received a phone call from a person, completely out of the blue, a person from my past; but someone who I totally respect and have always looked up to - and that person was calling to tell me to keep blogging and that I'm a great writer! And it made me feel guilty.
Guilty? Yes, because I let EVERYTHING (kids, husband, in-laws, friends, food, water, air...you get the picture, right?) be an excuse NOT to write, NOT to blog, NOT to read my favorite blogs. Why do I do this? Ugh, I disgust myself.
I tried to develop a schedule a while ago, but that shit didn't work out. So let's see if I can manage this one:
WIP Wednesdays - just like it reads, whatever I'm working on - an excerpt goes here.
Freak Out Fridays - this will be where I tell you all the crazy shit I'm freaking out about! ;) It could be writing related, kid related, husband related, politically related...well, really, ANY DAMN THING related.
Confession Sundays - I'm not Catholic, but I like posting something personal now and then - so this is where I'll do it!
On the days that I'm not posting on my blog, I'll be reading yours! And if you have a great post that you are especially proud of, you can always send me a Tweet! @HeatherArundel If I'm not following you yet, I'll get there; but feel free to send me a reminder - I'm new to Twitter and just trying to get my footing.
Ok, we'll see if I can stick to this schedule, I'm putting it on my calendar; so I'm going to keep my fingers crossed!
Last but certainly not least, my goal is to reach 500 readers by the end of 2012, that is my 2012 resolution. Any comments or suggestions on how to do this would be greatly appreciated; and feel free to take a moment to tell me how crazy I am - I never hear that enough! :p