NaNoWriMo came and went, it ended with a fizzle for me. I had 45,000 words on the 25th and considered myself "Oh SO CONFIDENT"; then I deleted 20,000 words after a day's break from the writing. Why did I do that? I didn't cut and paste into a new document - I DELETED THE WORDS! I am a self-sabotager of the worst kind.
I wrote furiously from the 27th until the 30th, but furiously for me - with a sick baby, a sick 10 year old, a sick me and a sick husband who had to go to work - well, that translates to about 3 or 4 hours a day. I average 1000 words an hour. It wasn't going to happen.
Since my epic failure, I have been licking my wounds. And thinking about my worst enemy - myself. I made it to 47,000 words; but that doesn't really matter, does it? I failed.
Do any of you struggle with self-sabotage? Do you find yourself becoming your own worst enemy - in relation to your writing, or anything else in your life? I'd be curious to see if this is unique to me; or if, perhaps, all writers (and humans) suffer with this a bit. As part of the great Alex Cavanaugh's Insecure Writer's Support Group, I'd love to read whether any of you have ever dealt with this?
Can't wait to hear from you all!