Heather Arundel

The Diva of Darkness

Salton Sea Sunset Photo by Ron Niebrugge

Salton Sea Sunset Photo by Ron Niebrugge
The Beauty of Hell...

Article 1 of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights - also known as my personal life motto!

All Human beings are born free and equal in dignity and rights. They are endowed with reason and conscience and should act towards one another in a spirit of brotherhood.

Who I am...

I am a wife. I am a mother. I am a survivor.
My family has made me who I am...my past family with past hurts...my current family with current joy.
Family is something you are born into and cannot choose,
family is also what you choose it to be once you are old enough to start anew...


Wednesday, November 2, 2011

My Issues with Insecurity

I'm participating in NaNoWriMo and I've written 3550 words my first day, and still I am convinced I will fail.  I decided to participate to challenge myself to complete a first draft; and so far, the words are coming - but what happens when the words aren't flying off my fingers?  What will I do then?  I have yet to write anything long enough to really struggle with writer's block, and still the fear of it is panic-inducing for me.  What do you do when the words just won't come?  You know where your story is going, but you can't seem to find the words to get you to that next plot point; what then? 

My greatest fear, of course, is that I'll finish my story and give it to someone other than my husband to read - and they will hate it.  Say, "What the hell were you thinking, you are not a writer!"

Inner demons of past self-loathing are hard to get rid of, I can analyze the psychology of my fear till I'm blue in the face - that still doesn't put them in a vault, where I don't hear the nagging voices.

I'm sharing my insecurities as a member of the Insecure Writer's Support Group...so tell me, fellow Insecure Writer's, how do you quiet the negative voices in your head?  How do you get past a block?  And, most importantly, how do you choose that first lucky individual to share your work with?


  1. You are already at 3550! Wow!!! I'm too proud to be jealous. I only managed 1400 words yesterday :-)

    Those darned inner demons, I tend to hush them with humor and getting a bit of support from friends who believe in me.

    Writer's block. The times I've had it were brief but I tended to eat chocolate and enjoy making my chipmunk laugh. Then just rambling on paper until I've scared the block away with my weird and wonky thoughts.

  2. That's an awesome start! I think you'll surprise yourself. You just need to get over that hump of fear.

    With writer's block, I step back and do something else. Read, clean or play with my son. Usually when my head is cleared, I can start again with renewed vigor. As for the negative voices, they still plague me sometimes. There are moments where I wallow in it. Other times, I make a rude gesture in their direction and keep writing.

  3. You are a writer. Never doubt that. You have my endorsement if that means anything. So muster your powers, finish that novel, and put it out there so that I can buy it.

    Heather, you are awesome.

  4. Uh, you're not going to let me read it when you're done? I inflicted mine on you...

    So, instead of needing to complete 1667 words every day, now you're down to 1603 words a day. Woo hoo!

    And when I'm feeling idiotic, I write it out. I sit down and type out exactly what's bothering me--about the story, the day, how late it is, whatever. Usually after about two sentences, I'm ready to go right back into what I was writing.

    (Seriously. A sentence where I let myself type: "This sentence is awkward."
    "The MC would never do that."
    or "That was almost it, but I need the bad guy to act like..." lets me get it all out of my system, and I go back and the writing works fine.)

  5. Great start on your project. I think joining a writers' group that offers critique groups could be a start to getting over that worry.

  6. 3550 words is awesome! The inner evil anti-writer is a tough devil to conquer, but just by acknowledging the adversity you're already one up on him. Red wine helps, too.

  7. You've done brilliantly, two days words in one. The only advice I have for you about writer's block is forget about it. You don't have it, you many never have it. Just keep writing your words :-)