Heather Arundel

The Diva of Darkness

Salton Sea Sunset Photo by Ron Niebrugge

Salton Sea Sunset Photo by Ron Niebrugge
The Beauty of Hell...

Article 1 of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights - also known as my personal life motto!

All Human beings are born free and equal in dignity and rights. They are endowed with reason and conscience and should act towards one another in a spirit of brotherhood.

Who I am...

I am a wife. I am a mother. I am a survivor.
My family has made me who I am...my past family with past hurts...my current family with current joy.
Family is something you are born into and cannot choose,
family is also what you choose it to be once you are old enough to start anew...


Friday, November 4, 2011

When is it "OK" to lie to your children?

When you have an issue that comes up in life - like a family pet needing to be "put down" or euthanized - should you make up a story to tell your children?  Or should they learn that part of being a responsible pet owner is putting said pet out of their misery?

I ask this because a dear friend recently had to make that decision, and while I don't know that I would have chosen the option she did - I absolutely respect what she decided was best for her family.

Have any of you ever had to deal with a situation like this?  It's complicated and personal, but I wonder if it is ever "OK" to lie to your kids?  What do you think?

On another topic completely - I've written 8000 words so far for my NaNoWriMo novel.  I'm really excited about where my story is going and hope I can find someone who will read it and critique it for me!  Let me know if you'd be willing to do a novel swap! :)


  1. First, YAY for your word count. I am currently at 6000 so I'm trying to keep up with you :-) I would be happy to do a novel swap. But I must forewarn you, I've tied up my Inner Critic and shoved her into a closet. She'll probably hold for a short while so what you'd get from me may be considered mind drool. If you're okay with that, we can definitely do it.

    Second, we lie to our kids more often then we want to admit. There isn't a tooth fairy, and santa is still a big debate. But I had to tell the truth about what happened to my chipmunk's hamster. He stunk up the house the day he "went to hamster heaven". She cried because he was gone, but she understood. She was 5 at the time. I didn't like having to be so honest with her but it was the best choice for me. And if I knew a parent that secreted a dying cat to the vet to put them down then gave their kid some new cat to "replace the one that ran away", I wouldn't think less of them. Being a parent is hard. Watching your kid suffer is harder. Lies really aren't OK, but sometimes they soften the blowback life tends to deliver.

  2. Babies is fine! Oh, you're not talking about your family...

    8000 words? Woo hoo! (I'll skip the math.)

  3. I don't lie to children. Maybe that makes me a bad person but I think the truth sets us free. Congratulations on your nano kung fu.

  4. Two of my children (both in early 30s) still suffer trauma over the dog that simply "disappeared" one day. The real story? My husband and his then-wife discovered the dog had a heart defect and simply returned him to the breeder. I know more about it than THEY do, and it happened to them. I believe in lying to children about the same as I believe in talking baby talk to babies---which means not at all. I'm wondering what you had in mind personally when you asked this question.