I'm part of a national organization that was created for girls (I'll leave it at that). I volunteer and I absolutely love working with the girls and seeing them blossom in all sorts of meaningful ways. However, the adults are not so great or pleasant to work with...nope, not at all.
My husband has pointed out to me that it is because women are inherently catty bitches - his term, not mine - and I have ranted and raved to him about his sexist view; but I think I now agree with him.
Why is it that women seem incapable of supporting one another? Why do women seem to have an insatiable desire to gossip and control one another? Why is it that the "mean girls" in high school, seem to grow up to join girl-oriented non-profit organizations - and then practice their petty high school tactics on those of us that just wanted nothing more than to never have to deal with them again?
If I had my druthers, and my husband was "OK" with it - I think I'd limit my relationships to men; except for all the lovely ladies I've met here! ;) Funny how the blogosphere seems so much safer than "real" life!
I do have a few women in my life that are not "catty", "mean", or downright insane; and I treasure my relationship with each of them. I can't help but wonder...will it last? Or does each of us have it in us to change on a dime; to become a bitchy, catty, mean, crazy girl instantly?
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There are lovely women out there. The problem is, they're aren't as loud as the catty ones, and they're too quiet to talk over the top of them.
ReplyDeleteYou know what works? 'Is there really any need to be so nasty?'. Try and practice saying this, with a shocked expression on your face. Be warned though, you will get talked about behind your back.
I hear ya. I have very few female friends for that reason. I don't understand it either. Why the cattiness and the games? The world full of enough drama and chaos, so why do you want to bring it to your friends? I just don't get it. I have always been one of the guys and I prefer it that way.
ReplyDeleteHello,
ReplyDeleteYou are part of my beginning bloggers group and I wanted to let you know I've nominated you for some awards. Lebster Blog (for blogs of less than 200 followers), Versatile blogger award (I see you're into a lot of things, like me) and the Lovely Blog award (I like the design of your blog).
Anyway, check out my post and I hope you get some traffic from this! http://viewfromfairview.blogspot.com/2011/09/awards-paying-it-forward.html
Best,
Fairview
I agree with Sarah. It's not so much that women are catty--they're just the most visible.
ReplyDeleteI have a lot of women friends, people who would drop everything to help me out. And I would reciprocate.
it's true how communication and so the life that develops here is different than real life. maybe that implies some good things for the future.
ReplyDeletemen and women have some differences in specific ways, and i think the way we communicate to members of our own sex is one of them. women can be competitive amongst each other, and they're not, too. for every example of one, maybe we have another.
that's funny about those high school girls working at the non-profits:)
Uh oh. What happened now?
ReplyDeleteI know what you mean. I've often wondered why it is women are so nasty to each other, why we can't support each other and encourage each other. That said, though, I have met some wonderful women who are nothing at all like this. Try not to let the bee-atches get you down and keep looking - there ARE nice, awesome women out there IRL that you can be friends with.
ReplyDeleteI know a few crazies and I know a few gems. If the crazies are sucking the life out of me I try to surround myself with the gems and send positive thoughts to the crazies in hopes that one day they won't be so life-sucking.
ReplyDeleteSome people never change, even the petty ones from high school. Ignore the bullies. That drives them really crazy.
ReplyDeleteComing out of feminist studies, I have a ton of ideas for why I think women can be so bitchy and catty. Part of it, I think, comes from the fact that we've been trained to express aggression differently from me. Guys beat each other up. They fight, they tackle their problems head on, but that isn't the 'feminine' way that women are allowed to behave. We learn how to be passive-aggressive; we're taught not to use our voices or to be direct. What kills me is how all of this ends up celebrated and reinforced by the media; reality TV (especially the Real Housewives franchise) has made a fortune off of the manufactured drama of middle-aged women who should know better.
ReplyDeleteI've also got my own ideas about how patriarchy and the historical dominance of men has helped to foster a world where women see each other as enemies, when we really, really shouldn't. But that's a whole topic worthy of a series of blog posts!
I've got a few female friends who I can trust, and I steer clear of the others who are still stuck in high school. It's definitely the only way I can keep my sanity.