Another Year Older - It's My Birthday!

Today is the day that I stopped being a part of my mother's body - a parasite, in her eyes, for those 9 long months - and broke out to go it alone...on my own terms.  Yes, it is the DAY OF MY BIRTH! (And I do feel like I've been going it alone since birth! More on that in another post...)

I am married to a beautiful man (imagine Jamie Fraser from Diana Gabaldon's Outlander series, not kidding! My friends called him "James Fraser" when we first got together.)  He blessed me with 3 beautiful children.  I'm 37 years old, and as my husband says "ahead of the game".

But somehow, I still feel like I have yet to accomplish something.  So I've quit making excuses and I'm writing. 

I'm also losing weight.  I've been overweight since college and it just BALLOONED with each of my kids (and all those massive binge sessions - note to self, when you are bulimic and stop puking but keep binging - you will get grossly FAT!), so I'm taking charge of my health. 

Losing weight (I've still got 100 lbs to go and have already lost 95 lbs!) is very hard.  Writing is very hard.  Here is why...

1. I am inherently a procrastinator.
2. I am inherently an addict. (Oh the stories I can tell!)

So what do I do to overcome?

I force myself to write, and I force myself to say "NO" to unhealthy food.

I am not dieting, I do not believe that "dieting" works because it is not possible to diet forever.  I want to learn to make wiser choices with my food, but I'm still a busy human with 3 small humans so we go to fast food sometimes...I just order the salad and get the healthiest dressing they've got; not the double cheeseburger, chicken nuggets, fries, x-large soda AND salad.

As for the writing; well, when I'm tired from being up most of the night with the baby and I can't seem to think of anything worthwhile to say...I just blog about inane shit that no one cares about but me! ;)

I'm Back!

Well, good heavens!  I had to take a bit of a break with barfing babies and some stress relief & lo and behold...I hit 50+ followers!  Thank you all for deciding to stick around and read my crazy musings! :)

I'm back in the game with a bit of a hot-button topic for all of you to chime in on...

Do you believe in ghosts?  Do you have a personal experience with one?

My best friend died 6 years ago (click on that link and you can read one of my first blog posts, back when I thought it was just a diary for me!) and I find that she still seems to be around.  Last night she was yelling at me in a dream.  Funny thing is, that what she was saying sounded just like what she'd be saying if she were alive and standing in my kitchen!  I've had a ton of experiences since her passing...and my grandfather's in 2008 and my grandmother's in 2009 - so I am a believer; but what about you?

I'm dying to know if this is something that most of you find to be a qualifying symptom - in my long list of qualifiers - for the looney bin; or something that you totally believe is plausible/possible - even if you don't have any experience with it; OR BETTER YET - do you have a story to tell?

Please share your story...I'd love to read it! :)

Have a blessed day!

The Imago Shattered

The imago of my grandfather shattered under hypnosis, when the truth was finally revealed.  My memory suffered a lacuna that was filled by the revelation that he had known what George was doing to me.  How does one’s psyche block that out so completely? 

Should I confront him when I arrive home?  Should I try to pretend that nothing has changed? 

The knocking from the engine block told me I’d have more time to think.  After calling the tow truck, waiting for thirty minutes and suffering through the noxious stench of the driver...I am home, but what is home now?

I realize that I am walking toward his room, I don’t know what I’ll say or do.  The miasma in my soul at the prospect of entering that dark room - where I know he sits - is causing extreme dizziness.

Oh. My. God.  I find I can do nothing but oscitate at the room before me.  There is blood everywhere, the jagged edge to the mirror points up toward the ceiling and is protruding from his throat.

Synchronicity was my friend when it allowed my car to break down and give me an alibi.

I’m glad he’s dead, gleeful even.

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My entry is number #18, please go here and "like" it!  Thank you!!! :)

Thank you Thank you Thank you!

Debbie Johansson and Fairview have kindly nominated me for The Versatile Blogger Award!

 In addition, The View from Fairview has awarded me The Lovely Blog Award for my blog design!  Thank you so much!  And another Leibster...I'm still not at 200 readers, I've got a LONG way to go! ;)

I'm a little shocked, but never speechless! :)  As I understand it this award requires the recipient to give out some random personal facts, so here are a few:

1. I worked as a Maple Leaf Farms eviscerator in college.
2. I worked overnights at a trucker Shell Station in college.
3. I did a lot of meth in college.
4. I did not graduate from college. (The first time at least! I recently went back to school and was able to get my degree!)
5. I graduated Summa Cum Laude

Now is the most difficult part...To Pay it Forward and Pass this along.  I'm just going to list some of the great blogs that I enjoy reading and hopefully, you will enjoy getting to know them too!

Christine Rains - I awarded her the finalist status on the First Campaigner Challenge, her writing is great so go check it out!

Ed Pilolla - Beautiful words! Oh you've got to read his series on the seasons...mesmerizing.

Sarah Pearson at Empty White Pages - I LOVE LOVE LOVE this blog!

Christine Tyler at The Writer Coaster - she uses words that make my brain work...and I like it!

Annalise Green - I often laugh out loud...her blog makes me feel like she's sitting at the kitchen table and we are LOAO together over coffee! :)